Our fitting room is my least favorite thing in our store. Mostly I wish we didn't have it because there are very few people who understand how it works. We are a smaller store. We clearly have ONE single fitting room available. And it is always locked. There are a few reasons for this. Partly to prevent stealing, we keep an eye on the room, know when someone goes in, and are sure of what they went in with versus what comes out. Partly because we don't want 12 teenagers cramming in there to fawn for hours over themselves in different clothing taking selfies and what not while people who actually want to spend money are waiting to try the one item they love on. This is another part of retail no one seems to understand.
Okay, so you want to try 100 things on. You have all intentions of dropping money to pay for these things. Awesome. I love you. But we still can only allow X items at once. Our store happens to be 3. I will gladly hold all of the rest of your items at my register and switch out with stuff you have tried on until you are finished. It's a loss prevention thing. Nothing personal, just LP is taken very seriously and any violation of those policies can cost an associate their job. But for the love of Pete And Pete, don't come out with all three on and go "I'm going to take these! Can I have three more to try on?" It does not work that way. Take the clothes you like off, hand them to me, and I will give you more.
You want your BFF's opinion? I understand hat. But they can't come in the fitting room with you. We have a strict 1 person at a time policy, again LP thing, and the only exception we make is when it's a parent and a child. Sure, we'll let it slide if your friend needs to come in and zip up a dress for you, as long and they scoot right back out of there. Don't you dare give me the bitch face when I come over, knock on the door and ask the second person to get out. I am just doing my job and if you want to be a bitch, I will gladly make sure the process sucks just as much for you as it does for me to deal with you.
Want to go in the fitting room with your girlfriend to "help her try things on"? Go take a cold fucking shower and get the shit out of my store. You are disgusting. And don't try to be cute about it when I tell you no. Don't ask me 12 more times. I will, and have, personally escort you out of my store and not allow you back in for the day. Kids use that fitting room. Older women. Would you cum on your grandmother's living room floor? Or your child's bed? No? That's disgusting you say? Well then what makes it so acceptable to do in my fucking fitting room? Would you clean up someone else's sex drippings for minimum wage? For any wage even? No? Surprise! Me either! I will give you our spray cleaner and a roll of paper towels and make you clean it while we wait for security.
Oh hey! Do you smell bad? Please take a shower before trying on our clothes. Other people are going to buy them when you don't and that's just gross. Also you make the ENTIRE ROOM smell of rotting flesh and unwashed genitals. No one likes that. No one. And guess who gets to fabreeze it. My minimum wage paid ass. Fuck you smelly person. Actually, no. Fuck yourself because you are NASTY.
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